Hello friends! I'm in a more chipper mood today. I've decided to share another BBM conversation with my brother. People seem to find them enjoyable. And yes, we really do speak to one another like this.
I let my brother borrow one of my favourite books "The book of Negroes" almost a year ago. It's still in his possession. I also want to point out that he was off work for several weeks(with an injury) so there was ample time to complete it.
Bro:Did you know the hard copy "Book of Negroes" has illustrations?
Me:Really? You haven't even finished the paperback, so why does it matter? Perhaps it would have been an easier read for you.
Bro:Yeah. I saw it today from this woman I work with. Its much nicer. And yes, it would be easier but the thing weighs a ton.
Me:How far along are you?
Bro:You know...far enough. Massa strips Amanita of her clothing and dignity in front of everyone.
I send my brother a picture of a pork hock(he detests swine)
Bro:That is effing disgusting!!!! WTF is that being used for...witchcraft?
Me:Its been like a year since I gave you the book.
Pork hocks are very flavourful. That's your Christmas dinner.
Bro:Time is not of consequence when one is slowly savouring literature.
Me:It is when I roll up on you and take my bloodclawt book back
Bro:To offer me that vileness(swine) would be a figurative spitting in my face!
Me:Its not wine. Its a book. How about a literal spit in your face? I want my book back!
Bro:Bring me the hardcover and you can have your book back. Those are my terms.
Me:Unhand my book you philistine! It shall be mine again shortly. Because of your bad behaviour your son is going to get a lump of coal for that unmentionable holiday.
Bro:The sins of the father should not be revisited upon the son.
Me:Fine. He'll get some new flute songs.
My year old nephew thoroughly enjoys my flute recordings. My brother and sister-in-law, finding it highly disturbing.
Bro:NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: He likes them. Too bad.
Bro:So we must all suffer because of his apparent affinity for simpleton melodies?
Me:If you mean to deprive your son of something that brings him indescribable joy, so be it.
Bro:Don't paint me with a fascist brush!
Me:If the shoe fits...Off to make new songs!
OMG you guys kill me with jokes! You are both so witty in the art of writing (did you just see my attempt?).. You guys need a talk show and I'll be your guest to give the odd ass ripping as I do best..
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