Tuesday, July 20, 2010
11 days until humiliation
Caribana is rapidly approaching. I am digesting the fact that I will not be skinny in 11 days and I just have to embrace my rotundness. I have been walking around my house in a bra and boy shorts and dancing to this. The costume doesn't arrive until the day before. What if it doesn't fit? I am working on two different make-up looks. I'm considering doing a mask or Vegas show girl make-up...Whichever one makes me less recognizable. Is it wrong to wish that my camp will be full of fatties that are fatter than I am so I will look like this skinny one??
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My friend,
ReplyDeleteI think it's a great decision to change over to a healthy lifestyle because it's going to be better for your mind, body, and spirit. BUT, if you always look at yourself the way you believe others perceive you - as a "fatty" or a "gordita" or whatever else - you are never going to be happy. Even if you were to lose all the weight and become skin and bones, you would move onto some other "problem" like hair or skin or toe nails. It will never be enough.
Being skinny is not, necessarily, a marker of beauty. Perhaps it is for the bottom-feeding, North American ideal, but not for everyone. Don't give into this pressure to look like a rail-thin model; focus instead on how you feel when you're eating right and working out. Make it about YOU - NOT what you look like to others. I can almost guarantee it'll work better for you that way too!
Good luck with Caribana! I hope it'll be a fun and memorable experience! No need to post this - just felt compelled to respond! :)