Guten morgen

This morning I meditated for 10 mins!! I know I shouldn't count the time but I think I'm improving! Something broke my concentration. I wore another pair of thongs that were too tight( I have lost some weight but not enough to wear a smaller thong) So things were in places they shouldn't be. I tried to ignore for as long as possible but I couldn't and lost my concentration. I then moved onto my other morning ritual—blowing into my magical flute. I played a latin jazz tune on it. Later today will be my very first bike riding attempt. Don't make fun of me or I will find out where you live, and drop cat feces in your mouth while you sleep. Have an orgasmic day.

Followers

I need more followers... I am an egomaniacal putana, who needs constant adoration to function(perhaps I should have been an actress). Everyday I check, hoping that there will be more of you. Tell your friends, family, your priest. A few weeks ago I had 18 of you, now I have 26. I will not continue to write for such a small audience.( Of course I will I have nothing better to do with my time.) I think my plan of world domination is coming to fruition,slowly, one person at a time. Join before it's too late.

18 Followers

I am truly majestic! I have doubled my followers is less than one month! I have gone from 9 to 18. Only someone with mystical Obeah powers could manage such a feat. Become a follower of my blog and I shall grant you eternal life and youth. Joviality and splendor abound! You will be free of all that ails you. Bountiful prizes await. Just join...or I will hurt you. Have a splendid day!

9 followers

It seems like many of you enjoy reading my blog in secret. You like creeping on it, enjoying my irreverant sense of humour and such, but I have 9 followers. I thank my 9 loyal subjects and I chastise the creepers. I know you're reading because I have 410 profile views... I started this blog because I thought it would bring me tons of adulating fans grovelling at my feet, praising my brilliance and offering me cheese or sausages filled with cheese (have you tried one? the cheese explodes in your mouth when you bite into it). Anywhoo, become a follower or I'm going to shut this shit show down!