How I have missed you...

I am so sorry for my absence. How I have missed you so. I downloaded a virus—despite warnings from my brother about my pilfering... I still did it and now I am paying the price. It has been a strange couple of weeks;I got that strange email (from myself) that I deleted years ago, I got stood up, I can't find my camera, I got punked by a guy on BBM(I'll explain later) and a Megabus I was on blew a flat-tire on the highway and it took over an hour for a replacement bus to arrive. When I look at these things I just view them as small annoyances and I am grateful that these are my problems(well I have many others, but we won't get into that). Perhaps the universe is paying me back for all the times I farted in public, insulted people, massaged myself with pork fat or subjected my nephew Boobers to my self-made nursery songs. Such is life. I hope you missed me too. Don't leave me.