Take me to the zoo...

Only a few weeks and I will be rid of this experiment, these wretched dates and the nauseating experience of on-line dating. I will never look back...I've got a date from last week to write about. It's getting harder and harder to write about them. It's like I can't find the humour in it anymore—only my suffering. If you haven't guessed, I am having a cyclical mood swing again. Brace yourselves.

hornyfire: wow ur a real cutie i was wondering if i can invite u for a drink or to the zoo....cause i realy would like to meet such a cuteness like u r.
 I just want to inform you that his screen name really did include horny. I only tweaked it slightly to protect his anonymity. I can't  fathom why you would want to take a date to the zoo? Perhaps he thinks the raw, carnal nature of it all would make a woman want to mount him. Not this woman. Not in this mother fuckin lifetime. This was on his profile:

Profile:You know Confidence attract women. As long as you believe what you're saying, you can pretty much say anything that isn't about yourself and they'll eat it up. Women are like some jungle predators: if they smell fear, they'll destroy you, but if you counter, they'll back down. When you go up to talk to women, you're cornered, but your goal is to back them down. i try to be confident, n i lke to be there for my girl everytime and try to be playful when necessary.
 I seriously think he's into beastiality. What's with all the animal references? A part of me wants to tie him up, throw raw meat at him and whip him until he performs tricks. I don't think he grasps that women and not men will be reading his profile. What woman in her right mind would be interested after reading that shite?



zilliionaire:YO!
Yo what you freakin twat? When reading these messages, I sometimes envision myself relaxing my anal sphincter and taking a big heaping s!@$ on them. After all, that's what I feel like when I open my inbox most days—like someone took a big heaping crap on my face. I only want to pay it forward. Here is what his profile said:
Profile:Am kool headed and easy going likes all kinds of music interest include out door activities ski some times during winter and goes watching live games .Outside of all these i takes time to better mai self and expand on mai own business and build aa better network.
I have no words to express my sorrow; It lies in the absence of punctuation, in the total and unabashed degradation of the English language,  and in the possibility that this man may spread his seed and repopulate the earth.

POF

This dude sent me a message. I thought his face wasn't bad. I clicked on his profile to find this:

BUT ON THE REAL IF YOU A LIAR, FAKE, OR THINK YOU GROWN BUT YOUR NOT. DONT WASTE YA TIME CUASE YOU WONT LIKE ME :) and yes im taling to all you lil gold diggers who think ya games on lock. it may work with theese dumb boys but for anyone real knows you can only be fake for soo long till the truth comes to light. FOR EVERYONE ELSE ITS ALL LUv.

i like smart, intellegent people. BRAINS IS BEAUTIFUL AND KNOWLEDGE IS KING. SKYS THE LIMIT. SO NO MAN IS BETTER THAN THE NEXT ITS JUST SOME JUST CHOOSE TO SHINE BRIGHTER THAN OTHERS

OK IM SORRY TO SAY MOST TDOT WOMEN A DUMB. BRAIN WASHED BY BET LOL. THATS WHY THEY WOULD BE MORE FOCUSED ON HATIN ON A NEXT GIRL AND TRYIN TO LOOK BETTER THAN THE NEXT GIRL. GET FOCUED WOMEN ITS ABOUT BETTERING YOURSELF AND YOUR PEOPLE. LETS SEE IF YOU CAN TAKE YA FAKENESS INTO THE NEXT LIFE TIME. ANOTHER THING IS I DONT GET WHY PEOPLE TRY TO LOOK FOR RELATIONSHIPS, WE NEVER FIND WHAT WE LOOK FOR IN THIS LIFE TIME, THINGS FALL INTO PLACE WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT. AND LOOKING FOR LOVE AINT SOMETHING TO LOOK FOR. NEVER HEARD OF ANYONE WHO LOOKED FOR LOVE AND FOUND IT. LOVE IS SOPOSE TO FIND YOU, ELEVATE YOUR MINDS PEOPLE. AND SORRY BUT I GOT TO GET AT BLACK PEOPLE WE ARE BEING LEFT BEHIND. DONT FALL INTO THE BET TRAP WE ARE BETTER THAN DRUG DEALER AND HOES. WE ARE BETTER THAN NICE CARS AND BLING. WE NEED TO STOP HATE ON EACH OTHER AND HELP ONE ANOTHER TO GROW AND COME ABOVE ALL THE HATE INSTILLED IN US FROM SLAVARY. IF YOU HATE I CAN CARE LESS

Bitter and jaded much? There is something very hostile about ALL CAPS. Isn't it a little hypocritical to tell people not to look for love, when you have a profile on a dating website?  I don't really have the energy to dissect this any further. Maybe a visit with my nephew Boobers will calm my nerves.

POF

Le sigh...

mma83:your beautifulllllllllll
How many times can I stress the difference between your and you're? I'm going to burst a blood vessel if I think about it any longer. Telling me I'm beautiful isn't enough? Must you and 10 extra L's for emphasis?

wanting: uh holy boobs and face batman!
Yes, you're quite right—both are magnificent. Only some sort of uncultured philistine would think such a vulgar message is a suitable opening line. Kill me.

docman: i am the genuine men you are looking for look no father wright back if you can
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
 I sincerely hope English is not his first language. His profile said he has a masters degree. Are they doling that shit out for free? Where can I procure one?

cuteguy29:hey babe just wanted 2 let u know u are really beautiful just wanted 2 know if u like 2 talk sometime get 2 know eachother and see where it goes if u do babe msg back if not it is cool babe and happy fishing....
This guy has messaged me several times. Each time I blocked him. I assume that he keeps creating new accounts because he thinks I'll forget how ghastly he was the previous time. He looks like an emaciated Vanilla Ice. We all know I like them hungry looking, but I have to draw the line somewhere. He seems to like the number 2 quite a bit. Maybe he wants me to shit on him?

POF+PMS=BEAT IT!

I am having a cyclical mood swing again. You should know by now what kind of mood I am in. No dates until next week, sorry.

Wrangler45:It must have been a rainy day when you were born..Heaven was crying 'cus it lost its most beautiful angel!
Blow me. He couldn't be more wrong. I was born on a sunny day, at ten to noon(ready for lunch!) If I believed in a heaven, I probably wouldn't come from there. I think I would spring from the cinders of a hot, dark place.

tuttut: hi baby ;)
Who the f**k are you winking at? This one hails from New Brunswick. They really do make 'em special out there. I am not an infant, nor do I have some form of infantilism. So why does he refer to me as baby? He was not attractive. He had the complexion of Wonderbread and he wore basketball shorts and a wife-beater in his profile pic. Perhaps, if he was supremely good looking I would dress up in a diaper and bonnet and he could call me baby all he wants...

Andyb: What up! You mighty cute, but you only have pics of your face. You a big girl?
Why, yes I am rotund( like it says in my description you twat!) He actually wasn't bad looking—smash worthy actually. I read his profile and I just couldn't do it. He said things like "break you off proper" and "I be at the ball court or chillin." Yeah...but...no.

POF wanks

Going back to the root of what started this blog—insulting men from POF. A few peeps have told me that they miss this part and they want to see more of it. I will try and post them more frequently, but the freaks don't come out as much...or maybe I have just become immune.

mango33:(message#1)There is a miracle called Friendship.I'm wishing at this time for miracle to hapend to for u to be my friend.I know now why Shakespeare could not compare his love to a summer’s day.
What the ras are you talking about? Like this turdbasket has ever read some mother f**ckin Shakespeare. Why is the word friendship capitalized?

mango33:(message #2)It would be a crime to denounce the beauty
of such a creature as u are be u men on pic
Creature? That title should be reserved for Sasquatch or the lochness monster— I am a lady. I read the highlighted part of this sentence over and over again, trying to decipher what language he speaks. It must be some peasant dialect that I am not familiar with.


ras77:dear my weekend was grt could have been better if i had a princes like u beside me,lol,how was urs hope pof is treating u well,i think im done with this site it so may white girls that will not let a brother meet a sweet sister like u
What happened to periods and capital letters and spelling you? So you blame white girls for not meeting a "sweet sister" like me? How about the fact that you can't spell princess, or the fact that you are wearing a t-shirt that looks like my night-shirt or the fact that you have a doo-rag on in your profile pic, or the fact that you say you want a "trained woman". This wanker should be grateful any woman with a low enough self-esteem would be interested in him.

taylors: I have always wanted to lick a black girls ass. You look like you have a nice donk.
Scusi? Holy f**k nuts batman! Its been a while since I got one of these freaks. I do have a nice donk. One that he will never see. I think he must have googled the word "donk".  I would never consider this but a part of me wants to tell him yes. I would eat at taco bell, curry goat and cheesecake. Then I would take a shard and not wipe myself and then I would tell him to get to work. Sorry, I disgust myself sometimes.

Great, this is the guy who likes fat girls

biglover:First off i just want to say i have been tested and confirmed to be HOT certified =) secondly Greetings, im here to talk with mature older larger women.. im very attracted to women with open minds and ideas, I enjoy computers, cars, shopping, clothing, movies, sleeping of course.I am very attracted to larger women, and its ok if your not large yet we can get you there =)Feel free to send me a message, i am open to chat.

This turdbasket messaged me and I found him utterly repulsive but clicked on his profile anyway. He was a slender, gawky looking white dude. He had a pasty complexion and a nose that bore more semblance to a beak. I want to know how he obtained this "HOT" certification. Were these people clinically insane? I may be large but I am not mature! How many times can he profess his love of the rotund? I have a feeling that if he ran out of big girls he would kidnap skinny girls and bring them to his pig farm to be force fed until ripe, never to be heard from again.

FML

Sexcrazie: well well, someone that thinks the way I do!we need to talk. Hope your weekend was great, get back to me if your interested and after you take a peek at my profile. hope to hear back from you. Have a wonderful day. You sound really interesting, I'd love to explore your mind and your body!

I found it a little intriguing. We think the same way... we need to talk. He had no picture, so I suspected that he looks like Gollum. I was curious enough to check his profile and it was...


I'm a very open minded fun/passionate person, am always involved in many outlets of expression. I'm athletic, I love to play a game of anything anytime anywhere. There is nothing more I enjoy than to please a woman, to make her feel like woman. Massages, touch, tongue bath, you name it, very open minded, very experimental and looking for like-minded singles (attached or not), couples, non-white, exotic, women with mystique.

What I seek.....
* open minded women/couples, fringe lifestyle's, alternative women, tattoo'd women, Non-White women, older women (yummy)
* casual, no strings attached sexploration
* Looking to explore any fantasy
* Looking to act out a few fantasies
* looking for a friendship that can develop into FWB
* open and honest discreet friendships.
* looking to serve you, take care of your needs.
* Kink and other things could be sexplored.

****NEVER BEEN WITH A BLACK WOMAN, AND WOULD JUST LOVE TO DEVOUR ONE!

Unfortunately, when I read this I was in the midst of devouring a banana and nearly met my demise by choking on my phallic fruit. Why and how do these people find me? I put up the most virginal/demure pictures of myself that I could find, but they still find their way to me.

I have yet to experience a tongue bath. How does one get clean if ladened with the saliva of a dirty man? Open, honest and discreet friendship. Does that mean open and honest between lovers and discreet with your wife? Do I look like a putana? I think I may steal his terms "sexploration" and  "sexplored". Too smart for words.

***YOU WILL NEVER BE WITH THIS BLACK WOMAN. GO FOR A WANK AND LEAVE ME ALONE!

Copy and paste

Willis77:Well what can I say, Love, love, love .... We think about it, Sing about it, Dream about it && Loose sleep worrying about it. When we don't know we have it, we search for it. When we discover it, we don't know what to do with it. When we have it, we fear loosing it. It is the constant source of pleasure and pain. But we don't know which it will be from one moment to the next. It is a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define && IMPOSSIBLE to live without, here I am looking for it and asking whether you can help me to find it .....

I thought it sounded a little contrived, so I googled it and found it on a few 'love quotes' websites. Are you f@$king kidding me? Is it me or is this the height of fromage-niss?

Lull

I have not forsaken you. Things have been a little slow. I have been trolling for dates and no one is biting. I gave five guys my  phone number (including one who picked me up on the street and was not that attractive) all in the name of getting these 30 dates done. Can you believe none of them have called me? Maybe it's because I have stopped playing my flute every morning or perhaps my mating calls have fallen of deaf ears.

A friend of mine got on my ass about my blog (they always seem to do that). She told me its been lacking lately. I wouldn't disagree. Sometimes I'm just not that prolific. She wondered where the POF messages were of late. To be honest, they have been pretty tame—normal even. But then...I checked this morning and there were gifts from the heavens! A myriad of treats in my inbox.


Dunno:people who know you never tell you they love you you relly lucky for a guy to tell you that

What happened to punctuation? You're right, people in my life never tell me they love me because I am a surly bitch. What is relly? A guy would be really lucky to tell me that (once he gets past the teflon protective coating that encases my heart).

Yardley:wen i saw ur pic i couldn't take my eyes off u. u seem like a nice girl to get to know n be around with. i will love to get to know u more. cell? facebook

Understandable. Sometimes, I can't take my eyes off me either( I KID). I'm not a nice girl (once upon a time I was). Maybe people think because they're online, they don't need to spell properly or use a full word. "UR" drives me mad more than any other, because I know if he were to spell it out, he would put your instead of you're. Not going over this again people. Don't send me a message like you're writing a text!!!!!!!!!!!



Bobg: hello your very pretty would like to get to no u if that ok

NO!NO!NO! It's not ok! F@$K! For the last time YOUR precedes possession. ie) I'm going to smash your face in the next time you send me a message like this. You're = you are. ie) You're a turdbasket.


Devon77: I love you.

How I have longed for a man to say that to me. I was hoping that he wouldn't look like Micheal Clarke Duncan in the Green Mile (he actually had on overalls in his profile pic) and live in bumfuck Alberta(sorry).

Someone is gonna get a shank in their ribs

Troika:Do you date white men?
I adore and prefer to date black women, but it is hard to find intelligent and open
minded ones here in Toronto. Lots with attitude and little else.
Have a beautiful day,
Easternblocdouchebag


Rhodesia:So...you start off with saying you prefer black women and then end with insulting us?


Troika:Thank you for your email.
It was just an observation. Sadly attitude is assumed to standard in for reasoned
argument, as in your case.(that sentence makes no sense)Hopefully you might prove me wrong that there are open minded and intelligent black women here in Toronto that do need to fall back on ABW syndrome.(Oh please massa can I???)Have a beautiful night,
Easternblocdouchebag


Rhodesia:I don't have an attitude but when someone sends a message and insults my entire race of women, I can't help but be a little perturbed. Maybe you approach other black women in the same fashion. I have had many white men approach me looking for sex or in a manner that is not respectful. I don't go around making assumptions about your kind. I take each person at face value. Telling a woman you are interested in, that you find most of the women that look like her, in this city are not intelligent and have an attitude— not the best opening line.


Troika:Hi again,


Thanks for the email.
It seems you have quite a chip on your shoulder. If you read my email, I used the word "lots".(Oh, thanks for clearing that up. Silly me!)If some says that they have lots of money, does that mean that he has all the money that exists in the world and the rest of the world has none. (What in the who what? This guy is a fuckin flaming turd basket!)You seem to have a strange view of the world if that is the way you see the world. (Not wanting is be insulted is a strange view of the world?hmm.)I prefer to be more logical( yeah and I am the fuckin tooth fairy and eat peanut butter).Again, I was making an observation of the women that I have come across on here. In quite a few cases they have a right to have an attitude, sadly there are disproportionally more single mothers of young children, so life is not easy.(Thanks nightline, did you hear about the Easternblocdouche that got a shank in his ribs?)
Have a beautiful night(fuck off)


Rhodesia:HA! I don't have a chip on my shoulder. I am one of the most agreeable people that you will never have the pleasure of meeting. I don't have a strange view of the world. I have been to 28 countries and I am very open-minded person.I think you have hyper-sexualized black women and seek out stereotypical ones so you can feel superior to them. Thank-you for giving me disparaging stats on single mothers. I am not one and I was raised in a two parent home.Can you imagine sending a message to a blonde and saying " I love blondes, but most of you are dumb as fuck?" What do you think her response would be?
I bid you adieu and wish you good luck in your search... who am I kidding, no I don't.




Sorry for the negative posts over the past couple of days. For a long time I have been a person who keeps my thoughts to myself.  In many in situations where I should have spoken up, I remained silent. No more. I think sometimes I had the fear of coming across as the "angry black woman". No more being a fucking martyr! I hold things in— letting it fester until it explodes and people see the angry in me that they never knew existed. A few months ago, I wouldn't have responded to his message or the comment that was left the other day. You may wonder why I give these people the time of day? I'm making up for lost time. Lost insults. Biting my tongue. Swallowing my pride. Ahhhhh. It's kind of refreshing to let er' rip. I will try not to spend anymore time on posts like this. I must be sending out the wrong energy into the universe. Must. Center. Myself. OHM......

This is why I have not been on any dates

bigwad:start pumping you when i pull your wet pantties off
Rhodesia: Excuse me?
bigwad:pull them down slow with my teeth
bigwad:can i be the one to make you wet
bigwad:you look very tasty
bigwad:i will use my tounge

Holy crapshoots. I am running out of patience. I was messaging back and forth with a guy from POF and it seemed somewhat promising. We exchanged numbers. He was a tad stalker-ish. The first day he called 4 times while I was at work!! He called me Saturday night and asked what I was up to. I told him I was out with a friend. He wanted to know what time I would be finished with my friend and if he could come over afterwards. Scusi? Pardon? What kind of putana do you think I am? I told him no and a couple minutes after ending the call I sent him a text saying that we were looking for very different things. I wished him luck and asked him not to contact me again. Someone is going to get a shank in their ribs pretty fuckin soon. Can't deal.

Bless up

decman:wussup hun how u doing i dont usually be on this site but i have more pics on fb...but i am independant , no kids..holla at me...lol
if u have msn or bbm u can leave it with
me..ok take care n bless up!!
Dear lord almighty! You don't usually "be on this site". Perhaps you should "be" in an adult remedial english class and leave me the f**k alone. I am sure you've noticed I have not posted one of these in a while. I think I am just becoming numb to the idiocy that I am inundated with everyday or perhaps I am making an attempt to be nicer to the opposite sex. Not bloody likely!

POF+PMS=NOT GOOD

Subjectline: I heard that black women...

Ottboy:Love having their feet massaged after a long and hectic day?
Did I hear correctly? :)
Holy mother of Mary, Santa Maria, mother f**ckin' sheep shit! Really? Why do I get these freaks? I just want to go on some dates, with some normal f**kin' people! Is that too much to ask? Some of you may think there is nothing wrong with his message-that's fine. As soon as I saw the subject line, I wondered what heap of flaming shit is going to be in my inbox today. He starts off with preconceived notions about black women. What woman doesn't like to get a foot massage at the end of a long day? If he was good looking, I would ignore his absurdity and use him as a human toe-nail clipper. Now piss off!

POF questionnaire

So... I cancelled my date yesterday. I'm sorry. I didn't feel like going. I had to cut my toenails and work on other things. I just wasn't feeling it. So here's something to tide you over. This is a first. I have never been sent a questionnaire. So many questions, without question marks. I am tempted to send my snarky answers to him, but I will be nice and just share them with you.Yes, I am having one of my cyclical mood swings.


Hello Rhodesia what's up how are you I have read your profile and I think you are vary interesting and I would like to know more about you only if it's okay with well I hope to hear from you soon okay bell


1.what are your Hopes and aspirations
To marry an old, rich man who is about to die and estranged from his family or tying a man to a radiator and leaving him there for two hours.

2.what are your Hobbies/interests in general
Making greeting cards with fake pubic hair, farting in public, looking virginal, eating smoked salmon, eating melted chocolate and smearing it on my face.

3.what is your favorite Music
Asford&Simpson and Hall&Oates

4.what are your Dreams
They usually involve someone smearing chocolate and pork fat on me.

5.do you have any siblings
One that I know of.

6.what is your favorite Romance novel
The one where your mother gets a pearl necklace. F**k off. Do I look like I read romance novels?

7.were do you like to Travel
"were" do I like to travel? To a land "where" people can write a proper sentence.

8.what is your favorite Vacation place?
Narnia

9.what is your favorite Movies
What is my favourite movies? For fuck sakes.

10.what is your favorite Restaurant
Any restaurant that serves pork.

11.what is your favorite t.v shows
Glee, True Blood.

12.what is your favorite foods
Curry& Roti, anything with smoked salmon, roasted pork, saganaki...too many things.

13.what is your favorite ice cream
Pistachio gelato.

14.what is your favorite color
Right now...forest green

15.what is your favorite thing to do on a first date
Tie a guy to a radiator and leave him there for two hours, while I get a sandwich and then splash him with ice water. I KID!

16.do you like sports
About as much as I like getting a pap smear..so no I don't like sports.

17.do you like cats
NO.

18.what do you like on guys
What does this question even mean? What are you refering to?


19.what do you look for in a guy
I'm going to be serious here. Someone with a kind heart, great sense of humour(and gets mine), likes to travel, smart, generous(and I don't mean financially, but that would be nice), open-minded but structured,wants children(but doesn't have any), someone who like to massage cankles and doesn't mind jiggly bits.

20.do you have tattoos
No.

21.what is your favorite animal
Kinkajou

22.what are your real eye colour
Obsidian.

23.what is your background
Guyanese.

24.do you like to cuddle
If I could secretly make little cuts on your body and then squirt lemon juice and salt into them, then yes I would like to cuddle. I KID!


25.would you like to talk on msn or would you like to text
No gracias.

POF

I don't know what is wrong with me. I am not having one of my cyclical mood swings but I am a bit off. I think it's because there were some things that needed to be done and I procrastinated and now I have to wait. So I apologize for the venomous posts that have/may come...


partytimez:I would love to kiss your neck and lay 1000 kisses all over you. I am very attracted to you physically, just wondering if you can stimulate my mind.Its time you get a bubble bath prepared for you, lol! with vanilla scented candles all over and have your favorite blended drink made by my hands.In the morning you should have breadfast in bed baby, can you handle me? Are you ready for love?
Am new here from St. Lucia lets talk babesz.


Interesting...and where pray tell would those 1000 kisses be allocated?  Would they be dispersed or focused on the nether region? I have a sneaking suspicion that it wouldn't take much to stimulate his mind. Bubble bath?? All you have to do is put some fuckin' bubbles and run the water. What is so special about that? Also, I don't take bubble baths because I feel like I am stewing in a brine of my own filth. I don't like vanilla scented candles. I don't do blended drinks, that's for putanas. I just drink vodka(I KID). I think "made by his hands" means: A) he's going to jerk off into my drink and tell me there is a special ingredient he put in just for me. B) he's going to put a roofie in my drink.


He assumes that if any of this were to go down(which it wouldn't) that he would still be there in the morning. Can I handle him? Am I ready for love? No and no.

POF

You may think I am making these up. I assure you, I am not. These are the kind of men that message me. It's indicative of the kind of men that approach me in real life. Why do the attractive ones keep their distance?  It comes in waves, these messages. At certain times there is a lull and then all of a sudden there is a school of wanton fish swimming in my inbox. People, I am totally willing to be set up on date because if I must rely on plenty of fish to find 28 more dates, I am up shit's creek.

revton:i talk to u today at the dollar store,just write me
Impossible. I was not in the dollar store today and if I was I wouldn't waste my time engaging in mind-numbing conversation with a peasant like you. I KID!

Hindi79:Hello there,
Would u like to have an oral submissive guy over tonight and give u an erotic massage followed by oral sex?
27 M here...wants NOTHING in return....just wanna please my taste buds....totally sane here...d/d free...discreet..Hope to hear from u.
WOULD I? WOULD I? Maybe one day when all hope is gone(that day may come very soon) and I can put a paper bag over his head (with holes in appropriate places) I would consider it. I mean, isn't this what guys go to rub-n-tugs for? An erotic massage and an oral release? And I am getting offered this for free? I would be an idiot to turn it down...Not that desperate yet! People don't do anything without wanting something in return. You cannot be sane if you are messaging a girl you don't know, offering to perform cunnilingus. Where do these dudes come from? Seriously.

POF

I have been on this crap site a lot trolling for dates. I do not message them.They message me. It's already a leap for me to join on-line dating, so there is no freakin' way I am going to be the first to initiate contact. Now, remember a few days ago when I said I would respond to every guy that messaged me atleast once...I lied. It was exhausting and I felt like I was giving them false hope. If I don't reply, it means I am not interested.

butter5:I sent u a msg and u couldnt dignify it with a response, i'm not no ugly dude, i jus thought u were really looking for a genunine guy..

have a great day!
Wow! I could really feel the cynicsm behind his "have a great day". What he really means is I am a ignorant putana for not seeing what a spectacular guy he is. Suck it! If he knew the first thing about dignity, he would not have sent that message. I am looking for a genuine guy, just not you nimrod.

pleaseyou76:youre too good for this place. Would you date a white man?
So true. To the white dudes out there, don't ask me if I would date a white guy. Just don't. This is usually the type of guy who see's me as a fetish or he is insecure and likes to makes assumptions about what I would like. How about you message me and try to get to know me instead of asking me if I like the vanilla stick?

(I have been known to get my swirl on)

Special

You may ask yourself why I even entertained this conversation. I think I was bored and really curious to see where he would take it. Also, I made a pledge that I would reply(atleast once) to every guy that wrote to me on POF. This is what it got me:

killerfish: Can I ask you a question?
me: What?
killerfish:would u let a guy to kiss ur high heels?
me:WHAT? WHAT? Lick my heels maybe.
killerfish:would u give me a chance? i would even kiss ur tushy if u like
me:Are you for real?
killerfish:can we chat on msn ?? id love to try that yes
me:Don't have MSN
killerfish:would u meet up with me..coffee?? what is there to lose?
me:My dignity. I don't wear heels often. What about some combat boots? Would you lick those?
killerfish:if ther hot...i would...do i get to lick the tushy too?
me:You are ****ing with me! Seriously? By lick the tushy what do you mean?
killerfish: i would lick ur ass...im serious
me:How do you know I don't have a stank ass? You shouldn't make promises like that. I still think you are a fraud and one of my friends put you up to this.
killerfish:what do i have to do to show u that ur wrong.....u dont even look like u have stanky ass. meet me for coffe tonight and put on some sexy heels

No I did not meet him. I was working and I wanted to hold on to what little dignity I have left. A part of me wanted to shard my pants and then tell him to get to work.

POF

More Plenty of Fish messages. If this is the pool of guys I have to choose from to go on 30 dates with, I am in trouble.

Rocknroll:There are two things that give away the type of person you are...would you like to know what they are?
Oh my good gracious! Please tell me! I really need an anonymous man from plenty of fish to validate me as a person. Arrogant fuck. This is the kind of man that would order wine, a main and dessert for you without letting you get a word in edgewise. He would talk about himself,his accomplishments and conquests all night. I still messaged him to find out what those two things are. I have a feeling it may make me laugh or start a verbal war.

killerfish: Can I ask you a question?
me: What?
killerfish:would u let a guy to kiss ur high heels?
me:WHAT? WHAT? Lick my heels maybe.
killerfish:would u give me a chance?
So tempting... A chance to emasculate a man, a dream of mine since childhood. I want to get a pair of clear lucite putana heels, go stomping around in a pig sty and then make this dumb fuck lick my heel.

dudert: What is your opinion on white boys?
I like them skinny, minimal body hair, good looking in the face, quick-witted yet subservient. I KID! I like all kinds of boys, as long as they fit that description.

POF

Subjectline:You look yummy
Jamie99:Hi my name is Douche checkout my profile I
got pics juss ask call 647-sit-onit 
get to know me
let me get a taste

How tempting.... an immediate offer for sit-on session. It's a little suspect. What kind of man immediately offers to mangia? How could he know that I would taste yummy? I could taste like sundried sardines on a bed of fermenting garbage(I don't). I admire his bravery, but admonish his easy virtue. I will not reply.