Date#6

Codename: Bore
Nationality: Canadian(white)
Occupation: Graphic designer
Age:31

Guess where we had our date??? C'mon take a wild guess??? If you guessed a mother f**kin' coffee shop, you hit the nail on the head. By far this was the most boring date of them all. He sounded like Dudley Do-right. He had the complexion of wonder bread and the enthusiasm of a tortoise. Here are some of the things I thought about during this date:

-How much would it hurt if I were to scoop my eyeballs out with a melon baller?
-How can I shift like a lady to get my lip out of a compromising position(not the lips on my face)
-I need to cut my cuticles
-I need new bras. This one isn't very supportive
-They should make jet packs that are powered by methane. That way I could just fart and fly away     from this dreadful date
-These thongs are too tight
-Why am I single? I'm f**kin fantastic! At least that's what my female friends tell me.... I need some male    friends(straight ones)
-That girl has really nice armpits

As you can tell, I had no interest. I would nod and reply to questions but my mind was elsewhere. He seemed really nice— it just wasn't a good fit. I get asked all the time what I'm looking for. I find it difficult to verbalize. I'll know when I find him.